My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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