Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
