Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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