I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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