U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
