I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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