where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
