I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
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You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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