she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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