I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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