Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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