i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
