He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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