Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
