i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
