She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
