She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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