ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Randomize
