my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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