dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
