he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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