yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
