Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
