somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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