On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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