I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well you can't waste a boner
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
