Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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