i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
