she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
