i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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