Clothes are such an inconvenience.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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