Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Come on in and take your pants off
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