FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
