Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am naked and annoyed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
