then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
