I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
