My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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