Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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