think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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