Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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