it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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