maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
