Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
