I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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