the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
