He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
