we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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