i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I still have a little drunk in my system
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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