yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
