Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
