You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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