Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i dont even know how to be here
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
