True but thats because hes a fetus.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
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i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
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New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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