I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize