clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
