I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
