we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
