You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize