have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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