Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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