the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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