3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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